Meltdowns: Expecting the Unexpected in Storytime

Meltdowns. While we hope they won’t happen at the library, we know they probably will. Ask any storytime veteran: at some point, screaming, crying, or some other manner of meltdown will visit your storytime. What can you do? Today, I’m sharing five tips from my own storytime experience.

Start storytimes with clear expectations.

Assume that caregivers have never been to storytime, so they don’t know your guidelines. A good set of expectations lets families know what is and isn’t okay. In addition, it empowers caregivers (and you) to manage disruptions. Addressing these reminders to caregivers and children feels less judgmental. Grownups sometimes need breaks, too, and this lets everyone utilize spaces and options. Permission to address meltdowns can often stop one before it becomes a disruption. Here are some examples:

• If you or your child stop having fun during storytime, it’s okay to leave. You can always join us another day!
• If anyone gets fussy, feel free to step out of the room. Then, come back when you’re ready. Our doors stay open throughout storytime, and it doesn’t bother us a bit!
• If your little one needs to wiggle and move today, that’s okay! Feel free to use the space in the back of the room to help settle those wiggles before rejoining the group.

Keep the right mindset.

It’s important to remember that children don’t have the words and abilities we do as grownups to process big emotions or share specific needs. Most meltdowns are simply a child’s frustration. They can’t share or reason through their unmet need. While library staff aren’t responsible for identifying or meeting those needs, it can help keep meltdowns in perspective. Your tone sets the room. If you can remain calm, even in the face of screaming tantrums, other children and grownups should do the same. Remember that outside events may influence feelings, behavior, or a visit to the library. We’re all human and entitled to bad days. We don’t always show up as our best selves, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you (or any child in storytime) a bad person.

Know when to let it slide and when to step in.

Ultimately, you are responsible for making storytimes welcoming for all. However, it’s hard to tell which meltdowns will quickly flame out and which will disrupt the entire room. Picking your battles encourages caregiver participation and allows you to focus on immediate needs. This helps you be more empathetic than cranky. Generally, I err on the side of tolerance to start, giving behaviors a chance to self-correct. If this child generally enjoys storytime, the meltdown might be a temporary situation that resolves quickly. Even more, waiting empowers caregivers to implement the strategies that work best for their child. In-progress attempts are likely worth waiting out to see results. Also, consider the number of children involved. With only one upset child, you may have some leeway. If crying, hitting, or other behaviors take over, address them immediately.

Know who to address.

Depending on the age of your audience and specific behaviors, who you address and how may change. For younger children, you’ll likely engage directly with the caregiver. For older children, you may address the behavior directly. Always keep in mind your library’s expectations and caregiver preferences. Over time, you’ll learn what works well for your presentation style and audience. Here are some options for addressing behaviors:

• Address behaviors impacting your presentation directly with the child. Use simple, direct language. For example: “Please sit down so all our friends can see the pictures.”
• Address caregivers directly for disruptions. Try a generic reminder followed by a kind but firm request. “Remember, grownups, it’s okay to step outside if your child gets fussy” transitions to “Please take your child outside until he calms down and rejoin us when you’re ready.” If your storytime includes multiple presenters or a room monitor, quietly address behaviors one-on-one while storytime continues.
• If hitting, crying, or meltdowns spread or derail the entire audience, address the whole room. Try something like, “I’ll wait for my friends to put their listening ears back on before I keep reading our story.”

Follow through and follow up.

Consistency is key when addressing meltdowns. If families know what to expect, they’re more likely to self-monitor and proactively address behaviors. Patrons should know you’re coming from a place of kindness. However, they should also understand that disruptive behaviors have consequences. Reset and try again another day as needed when meltdowns pop up. Here are some suggestions:

• Start simple. Nonverbal cues like frowns, head shakes, and even making eye contact with caregivers remind them of your expectations.
• Give a warning. Try a simple reminder like, “If your child cannot calm down, please step out of the room.” Give time to address the behavior, but don’t let it detract from the overall storytime experience.
• When meltdowns continue, and caregivers are unwilling or unable to address them, ask them to leave the room or for the day. Leave the door open to try again in the future, but uphold expectations.
• Speak outside storytime. If meltdowns are a habitual problem, consider setting limitations. Let the family know if and when they can participate in the future, especially with behavior modifications.

Looking for additional resources? Check out this great post about calming kits for toddlers and caregivers. What other suggestions would you offer storytime presenters to address meltdowns?

This post addresses ALSC Core Competency #3: Programming Skills. Featured image created by the author using Canva.

Jaime Eastman is a senior Public Services Librarian and Early Learning Coordinator at the Harrington Library, one of the Plano (Texas) Public Library locations. She’s currently serving as a member of the ALSC Board of Directors. Jaime is also working on at least two ambitious cross-stitch projects, dreaming of future travel plans, and reading far too many books. As a child, she wanted to grow up to be an author. Writing for the blog and publishing with Children and Libraries feel like a good start, and she regrets nothing about her adult decision to be a librarian doing storytimes who didn’t have to grow up too much.

The post Meltdowns: Expecting the Unexpected in Storytime appeared first on ALSC Blog.

 Meltdowns. While we hope they won’t happen at the library, we know they probably will. Ask any storytime veteran: at some point, screaming, crying, or some other manner of meltdown will visit your storytime. What can you do? Today, I’m sharing five tips from my own storytime experience. Start storytimes with clear expectations. Assume that caregivers have never been to storytime, so they don’t know your guidelines. A good set of expectations lets families know what is and isn’t okay. In addition, it empowers caregivers (and you) to manage disruptions. Addressing these reminders to caregivers and children feels less judgmental. Grownups sometimes need breaks, too, and this lets everyone utilize spaces and options. Permission to address meltdowns can often stop one before it becomes a disruption. Here are some examples: Keep the right mindset. It’s important to remember that children don’t have the words and abilities we do as grownups…
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